Tattoo thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about tattoos lately. And by lately I mean since I got my last one. I think I know what I want. On my hip-bone, like by stomach I think, I want the three stars that are on every page of Harry Potter.

Because if it weren't for Harry Potter, I'd never have gotten into reading like I did. So I have a lot to be thankful for!

Sort of like this!

I Feel Off

I think I'm just trying to adjust to life without Sarah, but I feel off.

I feel like I have no prospects. No meaning of life.

Maybe it's because I haven't taken my pills for a week? lol oops

I just don't feel like anything I'm doing means anything.

I don't know?

I miss Sarah :(

help?

I can't eat.. all I want to do is sleep. Pretty sure I'm losing weight. Shaky. Physically ill.

Just want to tell Emma to go fuck herself

and then go to Wisconsin and fuck my lady

or cuddle

whatever

Welp

I guess this is how I feel: someone who was my best friend a week ago slandered my name behind my back to a few very important people and I do not feel good about that.

So at this point, no, I am not accepting any apology.

Are you kidding?

I'm sick of Emma being so passive aggressive about everything. She goes behind my back and talks shit about me and it's fucking great. She does it to Jeff too and it's just not okay anymore.

Okay yeah, I smoke marijuana. I don't do it every day. I do it on weekends. Friday and Saturday. Not even always both. Sometimes I don't have bud, sometimes not a place to do it, and sometimes it just isn't what I want to do.

But I like it, so I do it. It's certainly not fucking with my life. I am doing well in classes and I like where my life is, for the most part. I have great friendships, a perfect relationship and I get along great with my family.

Not seeing a problem yet.

In fact, let's think about all the things in my life that are worse for me and more addictive than weed. Caffeine, alcohol, high fructose corn syrup. Hell, my fucking anxiety medicine is more addictive than weed. All of those I can abuse more than weed.

So fuck you, people who judge me for my own personal life choices.

I don't need negative people making my life so fucking negative all the damn time. Jesus.

Senior Year

I have a dream for senior year. Sarah moves up here and lives in the house that Heather, Jeff and Courtney and I will probably rent. Her and I get a room together, full of black light posters and a bean bag, with a window so if we want to smoke, we can.

I get up and go to school and she gets up and goes to work and we come home to each other and cook and I do homework and she practices guitar.

We'll make love almost every day.

And it will be perfect because I will be with her.

V-Day

Generally, I hateValentines day. It's always just been a reminder of how alone I am.

This year, though, I have a reason to celebrate. And that reason is named Sarah Rose. :)

She's perfect, you know. Like honestly perfect. I dunno what I'd do without her. I'm excited for Valentine's Day this year, because even if we won't be physically together, I know in my heart that she's the one. My one. :)

I love you, Sarah Rose :)